he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
