Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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