I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
