Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
