Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
