How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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