I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
why do cheetos always look like penises
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
