absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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