I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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