After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You need Xanax blowdarts
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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