And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
