I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
