I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
