1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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