It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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