She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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