nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I FOUND THE LEGS
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
