just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
