i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
