that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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