What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I need moral support for this bender
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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