We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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