dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
