Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
