my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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