I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
