the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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