Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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