I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Randomize
