we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
