i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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