why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
