I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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