i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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