I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
