Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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