I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize