Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
