Redeem this text for a blowjob
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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