1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
