He is an equal opportunity slut.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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