Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
