Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
