She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dicks are not precious.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
