Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
