One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Holy shit dude........stairs
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
