Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
