EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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