She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
