I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
