i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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