He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
