Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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