somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
